You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i drank out of a bidet.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
