She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
