apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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