if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
