Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
