I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
