Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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