i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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