i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
