I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
