And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
