I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
