I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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