I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
