he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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