I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
