You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
