We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
