My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
