Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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