Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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