I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
