Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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