i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
