A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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