Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
