So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize