just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
