pedialite and red bull = repair kit
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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