but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
