If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
