I will die if light touches me.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She needs sedatives and a leash
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
