i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
