margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
