it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
