dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
