If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We don't watch enough power rangers
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
