it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
