operation harelip BJ is a go
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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