That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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