READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
