I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
