you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
