??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
