You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
