I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
