She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
there is glitter all over my balls
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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