my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
