It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
