guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
