i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
