As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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