I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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