when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
