i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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