I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So vagazzling was a success
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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