Welp...herpes.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
