She said her name was "party"
I don't think brook has ever known best
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's shark week go big or go home
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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