Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
