at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
